Would you like to clean up a relationship? Just ask this one question.
We all have hurt someone else at one time or another, even if we did it unconsciously. Sometimes the person we hurt forgives us and the relationship moves on, but sometimes this does not happen.
How can you clean up a relationship?
The magic words are to fix a relationship are “Tell me how I hurt you.”
How can you use these words to mend a relationship?
- Find a good time to talk.
Sit down or take a walk together. At a calm moment, simply say, “Tell me how I hurt you.”
- Actively listen!
Listening actively is the process of listening attentively while someone else speaks. You paraphrase and reflect back what he or she says and you do not judge or give advice. During active listening, you make eye contact and lean toward the other person and nod your head occasionally.
Watch nonverbal clues to pick up on hidden meaning—facial expressions, voice tone, and other body language.
Do not daydream or think about anything but what the other person is saying.
Avoid folding your arms because this is a signal that you are not listening. Also, never interrupt!
One good way to begin speaking when it is your turn to speak is to say, “In other words, you are saying that…”
Listening actively shows that you understand what the other person is saying, how you hurt him.
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Showing that you truly understand how you hurt someone enables him to accept your apology. Then, after he accepts your apology, you can make a concrete plan to prevent this situation from happening in the future.
One thing you have to realize is that it may not be safe to do this in a particular relationship. Do this only with people who are safe to open up and be vulnerable with.
If someone wants to hold on to anger and still wants to hurt you, do not do this. Also, if the person does not accept and love himself, realize that he cannot work out relationships with others.
But if you have hurt someone who loves himself and no longer wants to hurt you, you can use this process to clean up the relationship. It works!
Let the encouraging words in these bobbiejrae posts help you
soar like an eagle above life’s storms.
Tell someone before it is too late!
Are you always faithful in your relationships?
Never forget that all of life’s storms are temporary.
We all need to stay humble no matter what life hands us…
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