Do you know how to overcome hatred?
We all get frustrated with a situation or a person at times. Unfortunately, sometimes frustration turns into hatred, a bad option. But if you feel hatred toward someone or something, how can you overcome it?
My mother has never shown me love but has always loved my siblings. After putting up with this negative situation for over 45 years, I started to hate her.
How did I overcome my hatred?
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Acknowledging it.
Instead of pushing it to the back of my mind or refusing to admit I hated my Mother, I acknowledged my feelings. Thus admitting that I hated my Mother was my first step in dealing with it. This first step eventually led to overcoming my hatred.
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Thinking.
I knew that hatred often comes from fear or insecurity deep within a person, or from self-defense. So I spent time thinking about why I hated my mother, and I realized the underlying issue was fear that she and I will not resolve this problem before she dies. She is over 80 years old and her health is declining. After I became aware of this underlying issue, I reminded myself that the damage this toxic emotion does to my own physical and mental health is not worth feeling hatred toward my Mother.
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Taking a break.
When I was constantly struggling with the relationship with my mother, I struggled to make rational decisions that might help me cope with the situation. So I forced myself to take a break from this toxic relationship. Every time I started to think about it, I read a list of positive things in my life that I carried with me everywhere I went. After a few weeks, my mind calmed down, and I began to think rationally about how to resolve this situation.
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Talking to triumph.
I spoke with my husband, my best friend, and my counselor about this problem. Just talking with these three people helped me to process possible solutions.
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Developing healthy thought patterns.
Every year when my Mother forgot my birthday or when she did not reciprocate the gifts I sent her for special occasions, I began to see the glass half empty instead of half full. Then one day I forgave her and released the toxic hatred that had been hovering in my head.
Forgiving her for everything she has done to me was the key to developing healthy thought patterns and overcome.
After I let go of my hatred, I was able to make a rational decision about my relationship with my Mother. As I realized that she is who she is and I cannot change her, that I can only change how I react to her unloving attitude toward me. As a result, I decided to change how I react to my mother by letting go of my relationship with her. And I simply closed the door on our negative relationship.
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Sure, it was natural to feel so frustrated that I began to hate my own Mother. But I had to learn how to cope with my frustration and hatred because it was negatively affecting my physical and emotional health.
After resolving my hatred at its underlying cause and resolving my negative feelings without lashing out at myself or others, I was one step further on my path to optimal health and conquer peace in my life.
Let the encouraging words in these bobbiejrae posts help you
soar like an eagle above life’s storms.
Everyone’s life is important!
Thank the people who made you strong.
I believe in keeping my promises. Do you?
Do you know how to love others and be loved back?
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May God continue to bless you B J in this ongoing journey we call life with strength and the ability to press forward!