Is it possible to overcome the storm of life?
Dear Life,
I have lived over 50 years and experienced many hard times, but recently you threw the meanest storm my way. You have stricken me with the cruelest condition that exists. The pain caused by my nerves attacking themselves is so severe that no pain medication takes it away. It’s not terminal and will never kill me, but at times it does make me wish it would cut my life short. At times I feel as though the fires of hell burn inside me and hot stabbing daggers are exacerbating my condition.
Even though I have the best group of providers possible for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and follow every medical edict they give me, CRPS has disabled me.
At the moment, CRPS is keeping me in bed with tears running down my face. I’m just laying here, trying not to feel hopeless and helpless, clenching my fists. Yes, I took oral and topical pain medications, too. And, although I forced myself to do my prescribed physical therapy (or profound torture) exercises this morning, all I can do is wait for the misery to subside.
Although I have an insured vehicle and a driver’s license, I must rely on my husband to drive me to my numerous medical appointments. If I ever hurt anyone else in a car accident, I couldn’t live with myself.
But one day I will fly above
this vicious hurricane you’ve sent me.
I refuse to succumb to the depression or hopelessness that accompanies severe pain.
I am an eagle. When all other birds try to flee from the storm and hide from its fierceness, I fly into it and use its winds to rise higher. Its pressure enables me to glide higher without having to use my own energy. Soon I’ll be soaring above the dark clouds and winds that I face now.
Like other eagles, I never give up. I will wait for medical science to find a cure for CRPS. Instead of letting CRPS constantly drag me down, I dream of hiking to the top of a mountain—something I will do again someday.
You can be very unkind, Life. And your storms are vicious. But, with the storm of hope within me, I will survive. And someday I know I will create the most beautiful rainbow ever seen to remind others to never give up.
Sincerely,
BJ Rae
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Don’t allow human nature
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Fill your mind with truth,
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