Are you a time traveler like many people are? If you might be, read on…
Some people’s brains cause them to be a time traveler.
Why?
Some brains are just not comfy with the uncertainty of the present and the future, so they live in the past, a different time. Time travelers dwell on their past mistakes and experiences. Also, they are more likely to struggle with anxiety and depression than others.
Some people become a time traveler because they have been hurt badly, experienced a traumatic event, or made a terrible mistake in the past. Their past makes them fear their present and future.
If you are a time traveler, how can you learn to live in the present?
- Express your pain.
You may have made a mistake or bad decision, failed to take an opportunity, hurt someone, or were hurt by someone. Instead of reliving your past every day in your present, express it and try to understand how you really feel about the situation.
Write in a journal, talk with a trusted friend or family member, or visit with a professional counselor.
If the source of your pain involves another person, talk to the person about how you feel or write him or her a letter. It is okay if you write a letter but never send it to the person.
- Accept your decisions.
Always remember that when you make a decision, you say yes to one opportunity and no to the others. Wondering “what if I had chosen the other opportunity?” only leads to frustration. Repeatedly thinking about what could have happened will not change what has already happened.
So, instead of dwelling on what may have happened had you made a different choice, focus on the present and what you can do now.
What happened in your past is now a part of your story, whether you are proud of it or not. So just tell yourself that you made that decision because it made sense to you at the time. Remind yourself that you could not have predicted the outcome, but this experience will help you in the future if you encounter a similar situation.
- Let your past go.
After you have expressed your past and accepted your decisions, let it go! When you let it go, you are being proactive and moving on instead of being a victim to your past.
You cannot change your past, but you can take steps to move forward in your life.
Tell yourself that you accept yourself and your past and that you are choosing to move on from this. Remind yourself that your past does not define who you are and that you will move forward.
You may need to say these words to yourself more than once each day. Feel free to say them to yourself as many times as you need to.
You also might need to forgive those who have hurt you to let go of your past. How can your forgive someone who hurt you very badly? Click here to find out.
- Dwell on what you have learned.
If you must dwell on something, dwell on what you learned from your past. Make a list of the positive and negative things you have learned from your past, but focus more on the positives.
For example, a failed romance may have shown you the traits that you desire in your next romantic partner. Focus on this instead of the pain you feel right now.
***
I was once a time traveler and suffered from severe major depressive disorder as well as anxiety and PTSD. Now that I have learned how to let my past go, I feel much better. In fact, I no longer take any depression or anxiety medications.
Hopefully, what I learned as a time traveler can help you.
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View Comments (1)
Thanks B J for this great advice!