What is the fourth step to mend ANY relationship?
In the first three posts in this series, you read the first three steps to mending ANY relationship. First, you must commit to loving the person. Second, you must give up your need to be right in the other person’s eyes. Third, you must not try to control the other person but set healthy boundaries instead.
What is the fourth step? Take complete responsibility for how you feel. Stop blaming the other person for your anger and other negative feelings.
Blaming someone else for your anger disempowers you because you lose control of your feelings when you do this. If you want to feel empowered, simply take complete responsibility for your feelings and how you respond when someone does something that annoys or angers you. When you take responsibility for your own feelings instead of blaming someone else, you empower yourself because you remain in control of your behavior.
For example, when your husband comes home late from work, you might demand an apology, threaten him, or blame him for being late again. But what would happen if you took the blame for your feelings instead of thinking he caused you to feel this way again? Believe it or not, the only person who allows or creates your feelings is you. You allow or create your feelings in how you respond to events in your life. So when something happens to which you would normally respond with anger, stop and think, “Am I helping this situation or making it worse? How can I help the situation?”
The real problem in your life when he comes home late is not the fact that he came home late again. It is your anger. But if you commit to loving him unconditionally (even when he does things that annoy you), you would not communicate that negativity to him. Giving up the need to be right has the same effect. The same can be said for setting healthy boundaries instead of trying to control the other person. And, when you do not communicate anger over a situation, you empower yourself to improve a relationship instead of making it a bigger challenge.
If you take this fourth step, others will not walk over you. Others will RESPECT and LOVE you more, because you are lovingly guiding a relationship to a healthy place.
My Grandma was very wise and her four steps to mending ANY relationship are valuable information. I will always be thankful that she imparted them to me.
Use this fourth step to mend any relationship and have successful relationships.
Let the encouraging words in these near a river posts help you
soar like an eagle above life’s storms.
There are some relationships you should not try to keep!
Remain uplifted in spite of your circumstances.
You can read all four posts in this series here.
What do you expect from life?
If you enjoyed this post, remember that BJ writes children’s books.
Her encouraging children’s eagle
near a river common core reading book
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Buy BJ’s near a river encouraging eagle reading book
for a child you care about today!
