Success in Relationships!: Near a River: Encouraging Words: BJ Rae

Encouraging you to listen more than you talk on Near a River.

Listen more than you talk to have successful relationships!

How can you succeed in all relationships? You can listen more than you talk.

Talking more than listening hurts all relationships. Relationships with family members, friends, coworkers, your boss.

No one cares to know what you think or feel unless he knows you care about him and what he has to say first. And actively listening to what your companion is saying shows you care about what him and what he is saying.

Ted Koppel believed his success in the media should be attributed to the fact that he listened more than he talked. His basic interviewing technique was simple. Ask a question. Get an answer. Ask another unrelated question. Get another answer. Continue until the next commercial break. Then ask a follow up question based on what he had heard. Then he listened more and honored his guest with his rapt attention.

Ted Koppel also believed that most of us have forgotten how to listen to each other. Unfortunately, he is right. Too many of us talk and interrupt more than we listen.

If you want successful relationships in all areas of your life, practice active listening!

Here are the steps to actively listen to another person.

Invite your companion to sit down. Sitting down communicates that you have time to deal with the issue at hand and really communicate.
Show your companion you are not distracted. Turn off all cell phones and other electronic gadgets. Look the other person in the eye. This shows you are only interested in the other person at this time, that you are not distracted. Mention a point of common ground or a common interest. For example, you could say to your spouse, “We have had trouble getting things done around the house lately. Do you have any ideas to resolve this?” Do not use the word “you” at the beginning of sentences. Use the pronoun “I” in “I Statements”.
When your companion finishes talking, ask a follow up question that relates to what he or she told you. If your spouse has just told you that you do not clean or cook often enough, you could reply, “I hear you saying that I do not clean or cook enough. Is this right?”. Keep repeating this process until your companion agrees that you have understood what he or she has communicated.
After you have understood the issues from your companion’s point of view, ask for ideas to fix the problem. Then add your own ideas. A written schedule for cooking and chores, perhaps? A google calendar reminder that something needs to be done, perhaps?
After you have both communicated your ideas for fixing the problem, you might want to take a break and think about the possible solutions. You might want to agree that both of you will come back together with your top two choices for solutions and figure out how you will fix the problem. When you come back to discuss the issue again, start over with number one on this list.

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The rate of relationship failure is far too high in the US and in the world. Relationships with bosses, coworkers, friends, significant others, and children all fail too often. Listening more than talking is one simple way to have more successful relationships.

When you are tempted to interrupt the other person, just imagine your life without this person in it. That mental picture should cause you to not interrupt and listen.

Parents, demonstrate active listening to your children. If you do this from the time they are small, they will grow up and be active listeners themselves. And they will have an easier time with relationships throughout their lives.

Remember that highly successful people are good listeners. They listen more than they talk!

Soar like an eagle over life’s storms. Listen more than you talk!

N.B.–This may not work with a dysfunctional person. A dysfunctional person has issues unique to himself that prevent him from having successful relationships.