Have you ever been in a difficult situation and didn’t know what to say? If so, read on and
find some ideas for those sticky moments…
One common problem among all humanity in every country is suddenly not knowing what to say. The conversation stalls and sometimes dead-ends into an uncomfortable silence.
In sticky moments, the first thing to think about isn’t what the right thing to say might be. First, you need to take the pressure off of yourself and remind yourself that it is okay to be less than perfect. Then you need to figure out find the best words to voice the most appropriate sentiment.
What is the best thing to say in a difficult situation?
When someone you care about accuses you of hurting them…
Suppose you are speaking with someone who is important to you, and suddenly (s)he blurts out that they are upset with you. What can you do to abate the awkwardness?
You can simply ask, “How did I hurt you?”, and then actively listen.
Focus on the person speaking with you, and listen to every word (s)he says. When he or she pauses, use an I-statement to show that you understand what has been said. Say something like, “I hear you saying that I hurt you by ignoring your messages.” Then wait for the response. Then listen until (s)he has vented and is ready to work on a solution.
When it is time to work out a solution, ask for the other person’s ideas, incorporate them with your own, and propose the best option you can suggest.
When a relationship you value seems to be dying…
What words keep a relationship going? Please, thank you, and I love you.
When you want to keep a relationship alive, try using these words every opportunity you can, and actively listening. Also, listen more than you speak.
Yes, this is a sticky situation, but you can deal with it!
When you need to quickly resolve a business matter or problem…
When I need to resolve any type of business matter, the magic words always seem to be, “I’m confused.” I write or say these words, and then explain what I don’t understand about the situation.
In an issue with Amazon once, Amazon claimed to have shipped me two of an item that turned out to be defective. I called Amazon customer service and explained the situation, and a representative named Jennifer told me that if I returned the one defective item I’d received, Amazon would process my refund for two of the same item.
I returned the item, and Amazon received it. But, I still received messages from Amazon telling me that I hadn’t returned both items. So I called Amazon back and spoke with an employee named Jeff. I started out with the words, “I am confused…” and proceeded to describe the problem. He immediately issued me a refund for the second item. Although I didn’t ask for this, he also issued me an Amazon credit to compensate me for my trouble.
No business wants to confuse a customer, so the words “I’m confused” are magic.
When you need to comfort someone whose loved one has died…
Did you know that the best thing to do is to listen when someone is hurting and not offer advice? If you recall times when you were hurting, you’ll agree that this is true.
Recently I attended a funeral. My friend hadn’t expected her husband’s death and it came as a shock to her. As she stood next to the urn containing her husband’s ashes, I walked up to her and hugged her. She cried on my shoulder for a few minutes. Then I said, “I’m sorry about his passing.” Then I listened to her express her grief.
Although most people feel uncomfortable when at funerals, this method of coping works very well for both the grieving and the funeral guest.
When someone is rude to you…
I feel embarrassed when someone is rude to me, but there is a simple way to abate the stickiness of this situation.
Just say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you are having a bad day”, and then “But I’m here to support ____ or accomplish ____.”
The best way to deal with rude people is to let them know you’ve heard them and then shut them down by telling them you cannot deal with their issue at the moment.
This strategy even works with my mentally-challenged, difficult sister-in-law!
***
Yes, it is possible to get beyond the awkwardness of a sticky situation, make everyone involved feels as comfortable as possible, and have the best possible resolution.
When you face a sticky situation, remember this post!
Let the encouraging words in these near a river posts help you
soar like an eagle above life’s storms.
I made a promise to…
Have you ever won this game?
Here is the key to success and happiness…
Yes, you can avoid losing just about anything!
Enjoy BJ’s encouraging words
on near a river!
BJ’s encouraging eagle
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