The Gives

How about the “gives” instead of the “give me’s”?  Like a hug, both parties benefit from the “gives”.

When I was a small child, I thought like a child. Around Christmas and my birthday, I naturally wanted gifts. I seldom received my heart’s desire, and sometimes I got nothing at all due to my family’s poverty.

Before I was four years old, my Grandma taught me to enjoy what she called the “gives” instead of the “give me’s”. She took me with her when she helped someone else or gave someone a gift, and let me watch the interaction.

As I sat on her lap after these excursions, she hugged me. Then she asked me if we both benefitted from that hug. Naturally, I said yes. Then she explained that giving is like a hug, that both giver and recipient feel the benefits. And, the benefits of a hug are lasting.

When Grandma did this, she gave me the most valuable gift that I have ever received: the gift of the “gives”. Now, every year for Christmas and my birthday, I find someone else to whom I can give gifts.

This year, my husband and I chose a family that was new to our home area. We delivered furniture to them, computers, coats, and whatever they said they needed. We also gave them some cash to get a few important items.  Then, a friend’s husband died, and we helped her as much as we could.

Now our home is filled with joy, the joy of giving. We feel content knowing that others’ lives are better than they were, and this is our gift to each other for Christmas.

Research explains why the positive feeling my husband and I receive from our gift to each other is a lasting one.

In two studies, psychology researchers Ed O’Brien (University of Chicago Booth School of Business) and Samantha Kassirer (Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management) found that participants’ happiness did not decline, or declined much slower, if they repeatedly bestowed gifts on others versus repeatedly receiving those same gifts themselves.

In other words, the joy of giving lasts longer than the joy of receiving.

Can you think of a way you can give yourself this lasting joy?  You don’t have to spend money. Instead, you can give your time or kind words to someone who needs them.

Never forget that the best thing you can give is a hug!

Let the encouraging words in these near a river posts help you

soar like an eagle above life’s storms.

Create a whitelist!

What is the most important gift?

Do you feel sad around the holidays?

Please remember this before December 31st!

Enjoy BJ’s encouraging words

on near a river!