{"id":5735,"date":"2017-12-19T23:02:42","date_gmt":"2017-12-20T04:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nearariver.com\/?p=5735"},"modified":"2026-09-10T11:23:08","modified_gmt":"2026-09-10T15:23:08","slug":"step-three-mend-any-relationship-encouragement-near-river-bj-rae","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/step-three-mend-any-relationship-encouragement-near-river-bj-rae\/","title":{"rendered":"Step Three: Mend ANY Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here is the third step to mend ANY relationship.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

In this series of posts, I am explaining how my Grandma taught me to mend ANY relationship. In step one, you have to forgive him for what he did to upset you, then you decide to love him unconditionally, and finally you act on your love.\u00a0 You show him love through your actions and words. \u00a0In step two, you give up on proving you are right.<\/p>\n

Step three to mend ANY relationship is very difficult if you feel the need to control other people.\u00a0 In this step, you give up trying to control the other person.<\/p>\n

Adults can control children and pets sometimes, but never other adults.\u00a0 When you try to control another adult, you send him the message that you do not accept him as he is.\u00a0 You are trying to change him.<\/p>\n

The fact is that no one can actually control another person\u2019s thoughts or behaviors.\u00a0 He might acquiesce to what you want him to do to get you to stop fussing at him, but his heart will probably become resentful toward you.\u00a0 Once his heart becomes resentful toward you, you cannot have a true loving and positive relationship.<\/p>\n

My suggestion is that you replace your desire to control someone else\u2019s behavior with good boundaries.\u00a0 Healthy boundaries are acceptable but controlling someone else is not.<\/p>\n

For example, when my husband and I first met, he was a smoker so he agreed to only smoke outside.\u00a0 But the second hand smoke on his clothes, hair, and skin still aggravated my allergies to the point that I became ill with migraine headaches and severe allergy symptoms.\u00a0 My eyes and skin would itch and burn so badly that I took as much Benadryl as possible and went to sleep.<\/p>\n

At first I tried begging him to quit smoking.\u00a0 He is a great man and I loved him with all of my heart but his smoking was a stumbling block for me. But all of my begging and pleading did not change his desire to smoke cigarettes and I quit pleading with him. \u00a0Then I remembered my Grandma\u2019s way of mending relationships and set boundaries. \u00a0He could smoke (but only outside) and when he returned to the house from smoking, he needed to wash and change his clothes every time.<\/p>\n

What changed his desire to smoke cigarettes?\u00a0 Eventually he became tired of my illness and my sleeping so much and quit smoking.\u00a0 He also had a stroke less than 1 month after quadruple by-pass surgery that his smoking may have caused.<\/p>\n

Now he has quit smoking and we get along beautifully.\u00a0 Since I set boundaries instead of continuing to plead with him to quit smoking, we still enjoy spending every day together. Had I continued to plead with him to quit smoking, we probably would not be together.<\/p>\n

Set boundaries instead of trying to control others and you can accomplish step three and mend any relationship.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Let the\u00a0encouraging words<\/a>\u00a0in these\u00a0near\u00a0a\u00a0river<\/a>\u00a0posts help you<\/h4>\n

soar like an\u00a0eagle<\/a>\u00a0above life\u2019s storms.<\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here is step four of this series…<\/a><\/h4>\n

Celebrate love every day of your life…<\/a><\/h4>\n

Are you impatient when you want something?<\/a><\/h4>\n

Have fun at your next gathering or party with these games.<\/a><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you enjoyed this post, remember that BJ writes\u00a0children\u2019s<\/a>\u00a0books<\/a>.<\/h4>\n

Her\u00a0encouraging<\/a>\u00a0children\u2019s<\/a>\u00a0eagle<\/a><\/h4>\n

near\u00a0a\u00a0river<\/a><\/u>\u00a0<\/u>common core\u00a0reading book<\/a><\/h4>\n

is available on\u00a0Amazon.com<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Barnesandnoble.com.<\/h4>\n

Buy BJ\u2019s\u00a0near\u00a0a\u00a0river<\/a><\/u>\u00a0encouraging\u00a0<\/a>eagle\u00a0<\/a>reading book<\/a><\/h4>\n

for a\u00a0child<\/a>\u00a0you care about today!<\/h4>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here is the third step to mend ANY relationship. In this series of posts, I am explaining how my Grandma taught me to mend ANY relationship. In step one, you have to forgive him for what he did to upset Read more…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5736,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,133],"tags":[1588,77,1271,1269,1328,1334,1270,1329,1337,1332,1321,12,1331,1330,1320,1273,1322,1302,1274,1323,1325,1326,1324,19,1275,1319,1318,716,1327,1336,1335,1268,1238,1333,1252,1251,1250,297,1299],"class_list":["post-5735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-successful-bj-rae","tag-common-core-eagle-reading-book","tag-bj-rae","tag-books-for-children","tag-books-for-kids","tag-child-eagle-reading-book","tag-childrens-book","tag-childrens-books","tag-childrens-eagle-reading-book","tag-childrens-reading-book","tag-common-core-reading-book","tag-core-reading-book","tag-eagle","tag-eagle-book-for-child","tag-eagle-child-book","tag-eagle-children-book","tag-eagle-childrens-book","tag-eagle-core-reading-book","tag-eagle-kid-book","tag-eagle-kids-book","tag-eagle-reading-book","tag-eagle-reading-book-for-child","tag-eagle-reading-book-for-children","tag-eagle-reading-book-for-kids","tag-encouragement","tag-encouraging","tag-encouraging-childrens-book","tag-encouraging-kids-book","tag-encouraging-words","tag-kid-eagle-reading-book","tag-kid-reading-book","tag-kids-book","tag-kids-books","tag-mend-any-relationship","tag-reading-book","tag-set-boundaries","tag-set-good-boundaries","tag-set-healthy-boundaries","tag-soar-like-an-eagle","tag-words-of-encouragement"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5735"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5735\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21157,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5735\/revisions\/21157"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobbiejrae.com\/nearariver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}