One of the biggest challenges for a parent is canceling a child’s anger.
Living with an angry child is quite a challenge. After a short while, you might feel angry, too. And, angry children grow into angry adults instead of productive, tax-paying citizens. Recently angry young adults have destroyed public property, killed other innocent people, and created havoc.
So how can a parent quell this negative emotion?
I used to teach special education students high school students with behavior disorders, and they were the most hostile creatures in the universe. Their unmet need to be like their peers caused them to act out in school, sometimes violently.
Here are the strategies I used when cancelling anger in the classroom.
Meet Your Child’s Needs
Unmet needs and unmet expectations are the root causes of anger. When your child is calm enough to speak with you, ask him or her some questions to help you figure out what underlies his or her anger. Ask questions like these:
- How do you feel about your peers and teachers at school?
- Do you feel okay physically?
- Are there any new activities you might like to try?
If your child is too young to answer questions like these, observe his or her interactions with others and with the world around them. Try to notice what happens before (s)he becomes upset and find ways to help him or her deal with that event.
Your child may have expectations that are too high and simply need you to help him or her create reasonable ones.
Communication is the first step in canceling anger! A good therapist can help you communicate more effectively with your child.
Encourage Hope Instead of Anger
An upset child often feels like there is no hope, that life will always be the way it is at this moment. But, when someone uses active listening to help him or her work toward a solution, the anger becomes less and less and often turns into hope that life will get better.
Don’t know how to practice active listening? Here’s how!
Negative input creates negative feelings, so you also need to reduce the negative stimuli your child experiences. When the news is negative, change the channel to Animal Planet or anything else positive your child enjoys watching. Or, simply turn off the TV. Violent video games are the worst source of electronegativity. This popular entertainment can create depression and anger in any child, regardless of how the child felt before (s)he started interacting with it.
When your child selects a college, make certain it is one that encourages free, critical thinking instead of brainwashing students. The ability to think through problems helps every person cope with life much more easily, and therefore reduces anger and depression and anxiety. A less expensive school that that teaches the opposite of critical thinking isn’t a bargain if you want your child to be successful thought his or her life.
Hug your child and tell him how much you love him as often as possible. Believe it or not, even older children enjoy listening to you read a favorite book.
Meaningful Activity
You may have noticed that your child isn’t angry or depressed when engaged in meaningful activity, especially when (s)he is doing it with someone else. Playing video games alone doesn’t count; some video games increase a child’s anger.
Wear masks, social distance, and go out and do something fun with your child BEFORE his or her anger peaks. Walking outside, especially in the woods or on a beach, is very therapeutic.
Have you heard about Japan’s coronavirus rate? It has been significantly lower than any other country’s because everyone there wears a mask. So please make certain your entire family wears a mask when around others.
Ask for Help!
When I taught school, I never hesitated to call security when I observed even an iota of violence budding.
Letting your child destroy the peace in your home once is a big mistake, and repeating that error communicates that you tolerate angry or violent behaviors—a horrible message to give a child.
There is no shame in asking for help from a counselor or another professional when your child seems out of control. Any family can experience this frustration.
Get the help you need for canceling your child’s anger!
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Most likely, the parents of the young people seen on the news destroying statues and rioting don’t feel proud of their offspring who cannot find positive ways to cope with life. Remember that the future of our society lives with you, and you are responsible for making that future the best it can be!
Canceling anger is the most important thing a parent can do!
Let the encouraging words in these near a river posts help you
soar like an eagle above life’s storms.
What does the word ‘hope’ mean?
Want life to return to normal?
Look ahead to the future,
And live happily!
